It comes more as a shock than surprise that what Jag envisaged, what we promised and what finally came of it is a shameful anomaly. And I have had my fair share too. I have had difficult times followed by abnormal drowsiness but that is no excuse. I opened the website with great hope but little belief that riggy has kept this blog going but I am certain he has had his fair share too. It says the last time anyone said anything was in July 2007, almost an year ago. And that too plagiarized. Now that I’ve got it off my chest and no longer guilt-ridden, I can move onto more funner things.
I’d like to round up this post with a few updates and a non-negotiable promise to regularly write.
- Till recently it had never occured to me, the phrase go forth and multiply had an ecclesiastical hidden reference that is no longer privy to the neo-proletariat christian. The Septuagint contained this reference. And so did the Deuteronomy. I don’t intend to directly hurt any christian sensibilities but the word is Arnevet. Yes Arnevet. I am unsure how the datamining capabilities of Able Danger (I tell you, only Americans can come up with such Hollywoodian names for their classified military intelligence programs) couldn’t figure it out but, well, they just didn’t. You know, all things American. Anyways, finally it took a rabbi to clarify it. Arnevets in Hebrew mean rabbits. So, hence the phrase, go forth and multiply like rabbits. The rabbit bit was scrapped off the New Covenant given the impending population explosion. Though, the phrase has made recent news with the Jews claiming, its not go forth and multiply like rabbits but go forth and multiply like rabbis.
- You know, people always keep telling me I am parochial but I disagree. There has to be some profound explanation why Kerala is at the bottom most part of our nation. Do you know what is a Malayali’s most common lament? Don’t look down at us, Don’t look down at us. But, I tell them, I don’t want to but I have no choice. Keralites believe their state is God’s Own Country and quite conveniently God’s Own Children. Well, lets keep that in mind and leave that for the later. For the uninformed, and that includes me until recently, Onam is GOC’s harvest festival. That holds little relevance to what I found and it is quite startling. After a few days of research, I found this very interesting titbit on Onam: Quote unquote Judah said unto Onan*, Go in unto thy brother’s wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother. And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother’s wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. Indeed, Onam is the festival of harvesting seeds. * Onan is a deliberate misprint.
- My wife and I recently found each other exercising our nethers together in a passion of conjugal bliss until I watched Richard Donner’s The Omen again. Its hard to believe the same guy made the Leathal Weapon series.
- You know how kids are these days, don’t you? A nephew of mine, who is taller and hirsute than I, tells me he just did a BMW. Well, I was pleased to know that he bought a BMW until I met her. I dragged him to my side and said, what’s this? I mean, we all have called our trucks Pussy wagons in the past but this is a bit too much. Only later did I find out from Pongy that it means Be My Wife.
- And speaking of Pongy, she wants her visting card to read:
Pongy (Name with held / changed for anonymity)
Human Activist Business for Pleasure. Pleasure for BusinessAnd, that is putting it mildly. So, at a recent family do, she seeks career counselling from me of all people. Of course, my sister is dead worried about her future. So, over dinner, I said, she should be a lawyer. And, everyone applauded. And Pongy frowned. Only later did she understand the subtle nuance. I told her, sometimes, when you mix business and pleasure, you get into trouble. And when your client gets into trouble, he will go ballistic saying “I wanna layher, I needa layher”.
- I can tell you quite confidently Punjabis are a strange lot. Did you know the closest word translation for etcetera, yes I mean etcetera is Falana Dimkada. Yes, its true and I am not shittin’ you. The other night, my wife says something and adds falana dimkada to it. So, I asked her, what did you just say, falafal what language is that? So, she tells me its, f a l a n a d i m k a d a and I ask her what does it mean? She says, quite simply, etcetera. So, I ask her, why can’t you just say etcetera? And she says, but falana dimkada means etcetera and more. So, I say, but etcetera already means more. We never resolved the issue but I managed to learn a really really bad word in Punjabi.
- Recently, my BIL asked me to come over for a drink. And, he fixes me a drink and he says, want to watch a flick? So, I say, yes. I am always game for flicks. And I ask, what’s the title? Says he, Best of Both Worlds. So, I say, is it new? Haven’t heard of it before. Well, my dad gave it to him, apparently and I know how this was going down. So, I say, what’s it about? He says, protandric hermaphroditic sex. I said, pro-what sex? He says, its about how these two people have male sexual organs while young and develop female sexual organs later in life. He is sick. My dad sicker.
I am running out of time and space. I promise to write soon. May be on T20. Especially, RCB & DC.
Au revoir…or I should say goodbye.
