To all my arendent readers - A very Happy New Year. My dad is now a part of the Bomb Diffusion Squad, by which, I mean, he has been promoted from being the Warming Up The Couch Squad.
I will write about the entire family soon but till such time, please bear with me. For now this is an email I sent to every business contact I have for this year’s Season’s Greetings.
Dear beloved,
Greetings in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. I am Mr. Rosemara Bendson, a guy from Kuwait. I was married to Mrs Rosemary Bendson, who was the ambassador of Jamaica for sixteen years in Abidjan Cotedivoire. We were married for fifteen years without a child. She died on 22nd December 2006 after a brief illness that lasted terminally.
Before her death we were a happy Christian husband and wife. When my wife was alive, she deposited a huge sum of money in a private security company here in Abidjan Cotedivoire where she was appointed an ambassador.
I was recently informed about an illness that won’t let me live more than three months according to my doctors. My late wife was very wealthy and after her death, I inherited all her assets.
I have decided to divide the wealth, to contribute to the development of church in Africa, America, Asia and Europe to help the ladies.
I am willing to donate four million seven hundred thousand USD to you for the use of God work in your church and to help the ladies in your country .I am asking for your immediate assistance. I have chosen you to help me with this matter.
- Please tell me if you can be of any help in matter.
- Promise me that you will not betray me as soon you get this money from the security company
- Use the money to build a church that will be called JFK Missionary.
May the grace of our Lord JFK, the love of God and the fellowship of God be with you and your family and may you see the goodness of the Lord in your life this year. I await for your speedy response.
Yours brother in hand,
Mr Rosemara Bendson.
Not many appreciated my sense of Christmas cheer and revelry. The best response was from a friend who almost immediately replied The drinks are on me tonight.
Yours SantaBanta.
LMAO. Good to have you back Qwerty!
January 6th, 2007 | #
Glory be, Praise the lord and HalleyBerryLeujah!
Qwerty, its good to have you back among the living, LazyRust.
I had a very good Christmas, by which I mean I was in Vizag, this time thankfully, in a sea-facing room! Instead of a Ho-Ho-Ho, I was met by Santa (Singh) and his brother Banta (Singh) who balle-ballaed there way into the new year.
I am at an event at the moment, a cricket game under lights if you please, so I shall appear here later!
Much love,
Rigged
January 6th, 2007 | #
Thank you, Ugly. A fitting reply.
I have a few questions for Rigged though:
# What were you doing in Vizag for Christmas? Do they fly kites for it?
# What were Santa and Banta doing in Visakhapatnam unless they believe Visakhapatnam is like Mii Amo.
I think cricket in India must be a banned sport. “Way” “No Way”
January 7th, 2007 | #
You’ve been bluf’red. The worse the boys play, the more money Indian cricket makes. I think we have an S&M thing going on that no one will talk about. Sometimes, this thing is called Rahul Dravid.
January 7th, 2007 | #