‘’It’s time for us to bounce back,'’ Rahul Dravid told a news conference, a day before the start of the third and final Test. Well, apparently, there was eggnog left over from Christmas. How else would one explain the sheer bravado of Captain Lumberjack’s battle cry ahead of the deciding Test?
‘’We’ve shown throughout the series at various times, that we can do well against South Africa so now we must put all the plans in place and perform when the situation demands it.'’ Well, as it turns out, what he meant to say, and would have, had there been leftover brandy instead, is that at various times during the series, the hosts have slipped, for most part from sheer boredom, and during some of those times, the ‘boys’ have shown marginal spunk and done well for themselves.
‘’Our best chance is on pitches which give our seamers the chance of taking 20 wickets as quickly as possible,'’ Dravid said. Yes indeed. And you would think this sort of thing would be a dandy situation, since the boys find it rather convenient on these said pitches to get out quickly themselves.
.'’We have to bat four sessions and that’s probably the biggest goal which we have failed to achieve.'’ You don’t say. ‘’Runs at the top of the order and a good, solid start is going to help us to achieve our goal of batting for four sessions. So, we might look at the top order. But no final decision has yet been made,” Dravid said. Um, I guess what he meant to say was -we’ll look at the top order, we’ll try and find a winning combination. And then, when we finally do, we’ll revert to sending Sehwag to combat the new ball so he can get out like the champion that he is. Mort - perhaps you’d like to put on your ‘Dravid-is-King’ cap and explain this to me? I mean, God forbid we begin to look like we know what we are doing. Or this part of some elaborate plan to take over the world?
‘’If the situation demanded it then I wouldn’t be wary of making any dramatic changes if it meant that it would strengthen my team.” You know what would be dramatic AND strengthen the team? A psychological test to determine the root cause of the Captain’s self-destructive thought processes.
On a less depressing root, looks like the boys have taken to the Australian idea of combat with all the bad-mouthing on the field - well, only half-Australian really - the Kangaroos usually sledge and win. And they don’t quite resemble a suicide squad before they attempt to adopt an Alec Smart attitude.
- Ugly
